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Things you don’t want to hear during surgery
“Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.”
“Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.””Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?”

“Hand me that… uh… that uh… that thingy there.”

“Oh no! Where’s my Rolex.”

“Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500 ml of this stuff before?”

“Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys? and this guy’s got two of ’em.””Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!”

“What’s this doing here?””I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.”

“Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.”

“Sterile schmerile. The floor’s clean, right?”

“This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?”

“Nurse, did this patient sign an organ donation card?”

“Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.”

“FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!”

“Oh no! Page 47 of the manual is missing!”